Housetraining
Behavioral Therapy
Client Study Essay
Client Study Evaluation
Introducing a New Baby
Secrets to Choose a Trainer
Do-It-Yourself Physical
Test Your Pups Behavior

“Find out How your dog thinks”... a comical essay
This exceprt from a client case study gives us more insight to how dog’s think.

CLIENT CASE STUDY

Name of Dog: BUBU
Breed: Bernese Mountain Dog
Sex: Female
Age: 15 Weeks

Comments: She is a very “Dominant Aggressive” young female,
who likes to bark back at owner. She is a severe
play biter, likes to leg hump, is hyperactive,
unruly and won’t come when called or listen to
commands.

Owner: Frustrated, weeping, exhausted with physical scars.

Environmental History:

Bubu lives with a very patient, loving family in Pasadena, California. Although her owners are top notch dog owners and very caring people, they have given Bubu mixed messages. This family has started out on the wrong foot(paw) completely.

I will give these owners full kudos for preparing the ultimate accommodations and living situation for Bubu. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve seen owners go to the trouble and expense that they have. They have genuinely sought to provide the best for Bubu. Actually, the thought crossed my mind, that I would like to live at Bubu’s house in the manner that she is accustomed to... I have given her the nickname “Princess Bubu”.

Bubu’s owners provided a large comfortable crate surrounded by a very expensive exercise pen with food and water enclosed. The pen is set up in the corner of the kitchen, on a tiled floor. Additionally, They purchased a top of the line “Gel” filled resting pad, which helps keep her cool(Bernese can overheat in hot weather pretty easily) and also gives some joint/bone support to those growing monster bones.

Bubu has all the toy’s a dog could need... and more. She also get constant attention, she is never neglected and her welfare is the top priority of the household.

What could be more perfect?

Behavioral History:

Bubu arrived at her new home at 8 weeks and was a playful bundle of fun. Most of the time she was very quiet and subdued (when she was sleeping, which she did a lot of) which is expected from a puppy this age. As the next few weeks went by Bubu was growing very rapidly as Bernese do. Definitely in the family of “LARGE”

As with all Dogs coming into a new environment, she settled in after that magic “3 week adjustment” period. Bubu was now almost 12 weeks of age and could now be reservedly described as a “Hell raising, Severe Play biting, Leg Humping, Dominant Aggressive, Monster”.... and I’m being kind. Oh!... and her favorite game was to defiantly “Bark Back” at her owner... bordering on extreme.

Yes, Bubu was now a real handful.

A Day in the life of Bubu.

Notice I did not say, “A day in the Life of Bubu and her owners”.

Yes folks, Bubu now owns and runs her household, and is kind enough at time, to allow her owners to come home and live with her.

You may laugh, but I’m being very serious. As cute as this sounds, Bubu had her owners at their wits ends, and I’m sure many readers of this story will relate. (whether they want to admit it or not, is a different story)

When Bubu woke each morning, Bubu would first yawn, stretch, ramble to her water bowl, then nibble a little food, do a quick, but elegant elimination (1 and 2) and plan her day... or should I say “PLOT”.

Her early morning exercise routine (prior to owners awaking) would usually include the intense shredding of a chew toy or other worthy opponent. Once this ritual had concluded, she would warm up her vocal cords (for the hard day of communication that lay ahead) by working hard on her “banshee” routine, and throwing in a little “wolf like” vocalization for good measure.

NOW... Bubu was physiologically and psychologically prepared for her early morning entertainment session with her humble servants (Mom and Dad).

Please be aware, in Mom and Dads mind, they were just doing what every hard working, Los Angeles commuting, professional does. They were rising for another boring workday, half asleep, going downstairs, to put on the coffee and while still in semi rem sleep... letting the little cute puppy out to go potty.

Awww, were it that simple, but lets go inside Bubu’s mind for a brief moment, fantasize a little, and look at life from a dog’s point of view.

“ The princess lay whimpering on her soft gel bed, surrounded by strands of exotic fabrics from far away lands (remnants of the stuffed toy made in China). Her lips glistened in the early morning sun(actually she was frothing) as the small garden animals frolicked on the lawn (future prey).

“Hark” (actually it was more like Hooooowl)... is that a splish, splash in the distance, my aid preparing water for my early morning herbal body scrub?” (actually Mom’s showering upstairs).

As the Princess stretched out and opened her eyes wide open (In reality, her pupils were fully dilated, she was so pumped up with adrenaline). Another set of footsteps were heard coming into her “boudoir” (The kitchen)... “Ohhhh,” cried the Princess in tone of quiet anticipation (actually, it was a nerve wracking howl).

“Manservant, you’ve come to frolic in the meadow with me this fine morning, and provide a warm limb for me to sit on ” (intensely hump Dad’s leg... I mean, with fervor) “Perhaps we can grab something together (expensive patio chair cushion) and play that wonderful tug game, we like so much.

With utter glee (crazed hyperactivity) the Princess jumped up on the castle wall (her pen) and ordered that the drawbridge be opened so she can make her way across the courtyard(living room) toward the outer gates of the estate (screen door). As she neared to gates, the princess tripped and bumped her head against the gate (actually, she was so frenzied, she double stepped and ran straight into the closed glass screen door... ouch)

Undeterred from her minor mishap, and so full of exuberance, the Princess began to climb the yet unopened gate. Again, and again she tried to scale the sturdy gate, Again and again she slid off. She wondered if perhaps there was a “slight frost” that caused the surface (“It’s glass Goofy,” thought Dad.). “So much effort is required”, she thought! “I’ve tried almost 50 times to open this thing...IN THE LAST 3 SECONDS” (Now that’s hyper !!)

Eventually, the somewhat sleepy “Manservant” released the locking device on the outer gate and the pair swiftly began their early morning ramble through the vibrant meadow. “I’ll pick some flowers” thought the Princess” and in short, found a most fragrant specimen. “Funny, I never noticed this beautiful shrub before”, thought the princess. (of course not, it was newly planted by Mom the previous evening). And look, there’s another, and another.

As she gathered the beautiful flowers, the Princess glanced over her shoulder and saw the sleepy manservant running towards her, he was too far away for her to fully understand his “requests” (Obviously... his requests, were profanity’s) To add to the confusion, the manservant was calling the Her Majesty by her street name (meaning her real name , Bubu). This was something that really irritated her majesty and she promised herself, when she first arrived in her new kingdom, never to respond to such a degrading name, unless it meant partaking of a fine roast beef dinner... with gravy.

As the Manservant began to approach, the Princess noticed he was obviously upset. “I wonder if he trying to warn me of danger”, she thought. Perhaps there’s a wild beast at large...I better run for shelter. So the Princess grabbed as many shrubs as she could and ran towards the old hunting lodge (Garden Shed) to hide. The lodge had been barred up with yet another locking device, but the large cave under the Lodge that the Princess had dug with her bare hands (for such an emergency) was open. She quickly entered the cave and placed her precious flowers down and waited for the poor manservant to arrive.

As he arrived panting to the Mouth of the cave, she heard him say something about a “Mother Plucking” or something along those lines. The Princess thought “Perhaps we are going to my Mom’s house for roast chicken this evening” Her thoughts suddenly evaporated when the manservant reached in and grabbed her by her expensive Gucci necklace and began pulling her out. “I’ve had it”, she thought, first he calls me by my street name, now he is trying ruin my expensive Jewelry ... when we get back to the castle... he’s fired. She strongly resisted his pulling, broke loose and retreated back into the cave

Just then, the manservant grabbed her two hands (paw’s) and dragged her to the cave opening. (BIG... hole in the ground) Now the Princess was really perturbed, she opened her mouth to speak, but instead a canine like emotion overcame her, she was acting like a “domesticated animal” , she lunged at the manservant and bit him on the hand, almost like a dog would do.

The manservant was now in a rage...fearing for her kingdom the Princess slowly crept out of the cave and slinked back toward the castle. The manservant was calling her street name again, over and over. “I shall not go to him” thought the Princess, why would I want to be around such an angry fellow, especially unshaven, and dressed in those boxer short things.

As she neared the castle the Maid was rushing into the meadow to investigate all the commotion. What happened? asked the Maid excitedly. The man servant explained the events and the Princess retreated under the Vast Wooden Covering on the courtyard (Patio table). “I suppose he really did not like flowers after all!”, thought the Princess and “was I silly to think he was going to help dig my cave deeper for me?”. “In know”, she Thought! I will explain everything to my maid.

The princess began walking cautiously toward the maid. The maid did not seem very responsive, but as she got closer, the maid immediately began what the Princess called “Verbal Vinegar Mystery Salad”... it was a mixture of things she did not understand all piled together and made absolutely no sense whatsoever... and left a bad aftertaste.

The Princess was now exhausted and laid down ( REALITY CHECK...she actually rolled over in submission)

As she lay there relaxing, (happy to be getting the attention she so desperately craved on a minute to minute basis) and looking up at the maid, the thought, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah came into her head.
In fact, that’s all she could think about. It was so inspiring she actually wrote a rap song in her head to the sound of “Who let the Dog’s out”. The princess actually had a secret fantasy about emulating Snoop Dog, she liked his attitude... or “Hound- i-tude” as she called it.

Like a flash of lightening (totally interrupting her song) the maid reached over to the princess and was also now trying to steal her precious necklace. The princess again was overwhelmed by a animalistic drive and thought “No” ’I shall not use my food cutters(teeth) for defense again, but I will explain myself”

The Princess began to Talk (bark) profusely as she laid on her back. The Maid was also crouched over talking at the same time. No one could get a word in edgeways. The maid was beckoning the princess to retire to her Boudoir( telling her to go to her crate), The Princess was not quite ready to retire and told her so....many times...repeatedly, over and over, again and again, more and more (you get the idea)

When the maid eventually grabbed her necklace (collar) a burst of caninicular(no such word) neurons exploded in the deepest caverns of the Princess’s mind and she once again used her food cutters (teeth) to prevent the grand theft. “And I trusted these servants!” she thought, “and worse they try to steal from my person, in broad day light!”.
As that thought was being processed, the maid had now got two “food cutter” marks on her right hand and was not a happy Young Urban Professional.

Before the maid could react, The Princess quickly arose and ran to the sleepy manservant who was sitting on a garden chair, licking his wounds from the previous encounter. To her surprise, the manservant, after careful examination of the facts, had chosen to forgive and received the Princess with kindness and open arms.

As she graced him with her presence and received a wonderful facial massage (quite unexpected bonus treat) the Princess felt another strange, but pleasant feeling come over her. Accompanying this surge, was the “need” to sit up on the manservant’s crossed leg... for comfort. As she mounted his leg she began a thrusting motion with her hips, it was as if nature had unlocked the secret of eternal life.
She held on tight, so as not to fall and hurt herself (yeah, right). Suddenly, the manservant began muttering something about his Mother and Chickens again. He was trying to leverage her off his leg, but the Princess was oblivious, she was in control, or OUT OF CONTROL (which ever way you want to look at it)... nothing mattered at this moment... it was very special.

At a most inopportune moment for the Princess, the Maid suddenly grabbed her and in an “body lock” like move and removed her from the manservant’s extremity. He jumped up in disgust (still in boxers), uttered yet another profanity, and went immediately to the castle.

The Princess, still humping dry air, had not yet come back to reality as her brain function was still chemically altered. The maid, still looking shocked by the whole event, miraculously developed the strength of Job and lifted the princess of the ground and carried her back to her boudoir. (of course, this is exactly what the Princess wanted. Who wants to walk when you can be carried?)

This pre-breakfast performance events took a total of less than ten minutes. The princess was now calm, still pacing and wide eyed in her bedroom(pen) but for her, that was calm. The Servants now begin the morning ritual of making breakfast.

Once the food was prepared the princess was served hers first, which she devoured ravenously. (in 10 seconds actually) She was obviously hungry as there is great effort needed to pull up 3 shrubs, hide under a crawl space, hump your daddy and bite twice before breakfast.

Round two is about to begin. As we all know, once a puppy has eaten it needs to eliminate within 10-15 minutes. This is also about the time that Mom and Dad have gotten through half their nice warm bacon and eggs and had 4-5 sips from that freshly brewed cup of coffee.

To signal that the Princesses entertainment MUST begin immediately, she begins to sing a beautiful rendition of “lonesome pine” (wolf howl solo, basically) accompanied by rhythmic pounding on her boudoir door. (pen)

As requested in song by the Princess, the manservant gets up from the table and opens the gates and allows the Princess access to her vast interior estate. But so not to have a repeat of the pre-breakfast game, the manservant bids her well in an authoritative tone, and proclaims that cordial behavior would be appreciated within the walls of her sanctuary.

The princess obliges and is not vocal in any way. She immediately follows the manservant to the “Great Dining Hall” and allows him to be seated. Smiling confidently and expressing praise for such great co-habitation efforts, the manservant proceeds to eat his food. Thinking that the entire situation is way too boring, the Princess decides to help the manservant dress, whilst having breakfast. What she didn’t realize and stupidly failed to observe was, HE WAS ALREADY DRESSED FOR WORK, DONNING HIS THREE PIECE, ITALIAN SUIT.

The Princess gently helped him to alter his pant leg at first, but as he resisted, she had no option but to force the issue and walk him towards the living room for a piece of her mind. Needless to say, she had hold of his pant leg and was doing some “dog like” growl as she proceed to walk backwards, pulling the manservant, as she went.

A few minutes later the manservant managed to pry the now torn pant leg and once again utter some words that made no sense to the Princess, but she being the young lady she was, replied back, in unison with some strong words of her own.

Again, the maid intervened and returned the princess to her bedroom, but not before she had once again elegantly eliminated which was triggered by the excitement of the events at hand.

So...the manservant does not get to finish breakfast, he must change and is late for work. The maid escaped any damage to person (this time) but has become very proficient in the use of carpet stain remover and bitter apple (we talk about that in the following training report).

The princess has a “brain motor” that spins at 10 million revs per minute, she can not stay still and constantly needs attention. She is destructive, likes to hump guy’s legs(not women) and barks back constantly in a defying tone. She will not come when called, she does not walk on a leash, she loves to wrestle and be physical and play bites so excessively that she draws blood.

This can all happen before 7.30 am in the morning. We are not even going to begin to tell you what happens when the owners get home in the evening.